I was walking down the street to see a little puppy abandoned in an alleyway. I went towards the puppy only to have it start to growl at my presence. I tried to calm it down by throwing bacon on the floor beside my feet. The puppy notices and slowly walks towards my feet. It was just as cautious as I was. It stops at my feet. I have direct eye contact with it. A spark has been discovered. A moment of happiness appears. A connection begins to originate. A bond has been made. I smile at the puppy.
And then I kick the puppy as hard as I can.
It flew like a football.
That’s what it gets for growling at me.
And then I scratched my scrotum.
Holy fucking balls, it’s been such a long while since I’ve been in this business of blogging on this tumblr. account. This tumblr. account was so dead. DEAD. And in just a matter of days, I managed to fill it with random bullshit that only matters in the internet society. I have Twitter to blame for that shiet. FUCK YOU TWITTER… and thanks. To be honest, I don’t even know why I got a Twitter account. I guess I just wanted to see what the rave was all about… and now I know.
So what have I been up to all this time? Well let’s start off with the biggest news. Are you ready?
I took the biggest shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA——
No, I joke. I apologize for making you imagine me shitting on a puppy. ONE GUY ONE PUPPY… and a hamster.
However, I do have some amazing news that I have not posted in a blog:
I am now attending post-secondary.
That’s right you fuckers, I’m actually a College student now. What program? Acting for Film and TV. Yes, I know! The teacher must be on lithium! Also, I am actually pursuing a career that I actually want to do more than anything else, actually. Actually, I started about three weeks ago. It doesn’t feel like school anymore, actually. It’s actually fun at times to learn actual skills of actually acting, actually. I should probably stop this, actually.
But yeah, the program is actually fun (sorry). I’ve been taught the exact same way at Soulpepper, so I’m very comfortable with the environment there: There are goats and monkeys flying everywhere, giant pamphlets of Indian buffets falling from the sky, and rows of people bowing down in front of a THICK WALL OF SEMEN!
Okay, the real environment is this: we do stupid activities, I’m a visible minority, and all of the peppy, white, hippie actors know and talk to everybody (who is also white) and are very expressive. In the midst of taking in my environment, I have come up with a statement that will motivate me to not be distracted by these factors:
OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!
But also, I should “GET USED TO IT.”
There are many reasons why I would be the only Asian actor in that program: Asians pursue a different career, the Asians that applied for this program did not get in, the Asians have strict parents and are forced somewhere else, white people love acting, the teachers are racist and allow mostly white people into their program, or I’m special (Yeah… let’s go with that one). So I might as well be proud to be in school now… especially since they said about three hundred people apply, and only forty get in. I’m one of those forty! -screams like a fan girl-
Sorry you had to hear that.
Let’s begin with the lame activities I have to undergo. One of the common exercises there were making us walk around the room. Just walking. Walking around the room, using the space, focusing on our own bodies within ourselves while avoiding people at the same time. Sometimes we speed up, sometimes we slow down. That’s what she said. You get the picture. We even started to move chairs and sit on them. Get up, move the chair and sit again. Then repeat. Then repeat. Then repeat. Then repeat. Then faster. Then slower. Harder. Louder. Dangerer…
And then gangnam style.
To my eyes, these are very hippie activities. In a third-person perspective, there is a person making the rest of the people in the room act like roaming zombies and robots. It would be a lot more interesting if we were all naked.
Well, I’m pretty sure that applies to everything.
“Everything is always more interesting when you’re naked.”
That’s what your mother told me.
Of course, being an acting program, like Soulpepper, I am the only Asian in the class. Why is this a factor? Well, because I am the only Asian, I have to be quite careful in not making myself noticeable for being stupid. Believe it or not, sometimes that can be the cause of sterotypicalism (yes, I did just make that word up). What’s really beautiful however, is that everyone respects everybody in this program. I’ve managed to be on positive terms with everyone in class, and they all like what I do on stage, like pelvic thrusting. I’ve spontaneously made good friends from this. If you can entertain someone, they like you. I’ll try my best to keep this up.
And I obviously didn’t pelvic thrust on stage.
And lastly, I am the quietest in the class. Actors are stereotyped for being all peppy, energetic, expressive, talkative, annoying, weird, and overly nice. Some of my classmates wonder why I don’t like to socialize like that, go to parties, etc. It’s just who I am. I’m not one to come up to you and start talking to you about random things. If we find something in common, I won’t make it a bigger deal than it is and offer high fives to you in order to bond. I would do that when I’m drunk, but that’s the only time. I would normally never talk to people when I’m at school. I know it seems disrespectful, as it implies that I don’t care much about other people, but I do.
NOW MAKE ME A SANDWICH!
No sexism intended.
Anyways, other than these factors, I’m definitely enjoying my program. I’m learning a lot, that’s for sure. They definitely teach you how to be independent and make your own decisions. Acting is a form of art. Everyone does it differently and success varies depending on who sees you and how passionate you are. And because it is a form of art, there is lots of room for pure bullshit. I plan to use a lot of that when I’m in this program. And produce a lot. And excrete a lot if you know what I mean.
There’s a lot going on in my program. I’ll blog more about it later. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date…
With the toilet.
P.S. This is my first blog in a long time. Give me some sympathy. I’ll be funnier later on… I hope.