Notoriously Lazy...

What is love~ baby don’t hurt me~ don’t hurt me~

You whore.

No, I did not just change that last part. This is the dirty version of the song. If you don’t like it, then go shove a mango up your butt in the middle of aisle three in the grocery store. Why aisle three?

What is love~ baby don’t hurt me~ don’——

Okay, I don’t know why. I can’t think properly. Perhaps it’s because of the M&M’s I’m eating while making this blog. Perhaps it’s because the AC is blasting in my hot room. Perhaps it’s the glass of milk I chugged down and it’s giving me signs of diarrhea. Perhaps your mom is with me right now making me cookies. Perhaps it’s because the old hobo in my closet is asking for spare underwear because he used all of mine to make a quilt. Perhaps it’s because my love for M&M’s made me take off all my clothing and sit naked.

Speaking of love…

What is love~ baby don’t hurt m——

I joke. I don’t even know what that song is. People keep singing it in my program. I just copy what they do. Conforming? Hey, we all do it eventually. If we don’t conform to anything, then what do we have? Our PRIDE?

What is pride~ baby don’t jerk me~ don’t jerk me~

So hard~

Okay, that was wrong, I admit it. Perhaps I have ruined the song for many people who are reading this blog right now. Well I am here to sincerely say, with all my heart and all due respect…

Nice dick.

So it’s been a lazy weekend for me. I’m barely doing any homework at all, and I have a partner who lives in Brampton and was unable to work with me for three days. Talk about inflexibility. And I’m not just talking about his mom. OOOOOOOOHHH! YOU JUS’ GOT SERVED! BOOYAH! I joke, stop subtly, being confused. Other than me being lazy, which is like… err’day (I know, that was so whitewashed), nothing has been new with me. I just know I have to step up my game.

In bed.

Naw, I joke. I mean in my program. So many people are developing skills and slowly getting better at what they do. I have a friend who recently got into all his programs, whereas I was only able to get into one of my programs last year. Serious competition. I wonder how many penises he has to suck to get in. I JOKE AGAIN! Where’s you’re sense of crude and hateful humor? He got in because he’s mad talanated and edumacated. It makes me think long and hard about what I’m gonna try to accomplish with my life.

Hehe, long and hard.

Hehe, duty.

Hehe, mathematicians.

What?

I have nothing to blog about today. School is never an interesting thing to talk about. I wonder why people tend to lean towards that subject anyways. Oh wait, I know why! To prevent prostate irritation!

“Umm… no.”

To make conversation, obviously. I find that to be a common thing among my friends lately (aside from the people at my school already), but even sometimes people in the same program talk about things that go on in school. School is such a popular subject, and even when it’s hated by almost everyone, it is talked about commonly amongst people at parties and social gatherings in order to spew things that could possibly lead to bonding slash bonding in the sac slash bonding slash bonds. What is bond~ baby don’t shirt me~ don’t—- And do you know what I REALLY don’t get?

Why are cucumbers shaped like dildos?

Perhaps vegetables are males and fruits are females?

It’s a mystery among mysteries… among mysteries… among mysteries… among——

What is love~ baby don—-

Okay, you know what? This blog is going nowhere. It’s been a while since I blogged about anything significant, important or pertinent – my PENIS.

I joke. Perhaps I shall go back to story blogging.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who went outside her cave during the night. She was very curious to see what was beyond the horizons in the dusk. When she climbed the Tall Tall cliff, she made it to the top to find a TIGER BEAR AND DIED.

-smack-

If any of you have not seen The Croods yet, you better go see it.

Well, that’s all on my mind for now. I shall blog about certain things I have undergone and witnessed during my life as a college student. Until then, keep calm and masturbate.

And for god’s sake, give a hobo some change… and then smack the cup towards the ground and kick him in the nuts.

What is nuts~ baby don’t… umm…

Yeah, I got nothin’.

Lemme tell you a little story about a piece of poop. This piece of poop was named Poop. Now Poop was not in very good shape. Most of the sports he plays made him pooped. On top of that, Poop always had to take a poop. It was a serious poop problem the poop doctor could not solve. Saddened, Poop wanted to be accepted in a way that did not make him poop and pooped. So Poop popped an idea from his mind and decided to use his chronic pooping as a good thing. Poop took his entire poop and molded the poop into a statue of himself, but ten times bigger! Molding his entire poop made Poop INCREDIBLY pooped, but it was awed by the people from a mile away… with binoculars. Poop stood while pooping with a new found purpose in life.

It was the biggest poop he’s ever made.

…

…

…

No?

C’mon… there HAD to have been at least three puns in that last sentence! Sigh… Well, I think I can finally conclude that I never blog as much as I used to – I mean, look at that last joke. FAWK! Things have changed… lots of things. Plus, I’ve been incredibly busy with so many things that’s it’s hard to juggle all of these things at once AND find a time to blog about things—I’ve said too many ‘things.’

…

…

…

You didn’t catch that pun either? WHERE BE YOUR SENSE OF UNNOTICEABLE HUMOR?

I’m lame, I know. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME!

“But you told yoursel—“

HOOPLAAA!

There’ve been so many things I’ve wanted to blog about from my last blog until now. I’ll need a series of blogs in order to slowly get myself back into serious topics like wood, and hobos, and masturbation, and squirrels eating cotton candy while riding a tricycle into an old folk’s home… but for now, I’ll have to stick with an “update blog.”

Did you hear about the man who went on a plane to spend time with a girl? It was quite the UPDATE!

-runs from mob holding pointy sticks-

So what have I been up to? Well, other than school, nothing much has been going on. School is finally incredibly stressful, and I have had times where I have broken down and cried with my big, huggy bear and fluffy blankie. I like to cuddle-wuddle with my little duckie too and tell stories about rainbows and happy sunshine—-

—-GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAPTOP, BOB!

Anyways, it’s true. School has been a fucker this semester. Things just get harder (hehe) as the years go by, constantly challenging my patience and thinking skills. This also applies to things outside of school as well. As time went by until now, I’ve been through so much – first time in post-secondary, first time in a relationship, first time being in love, first time I had bed bugs, first time I lost my phone, first time I dropped my new phone, first time having my own leather jacket, first time farting in school and another person being blamed for it, first time slapping an old lady across the face in the subway for stepping on my foot, first time tackling children in the ice rink, and for the first time ever, in ALL of my life, I have finally gone a whole month without diarrhea. KEEP THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS COMING!

Okay, obviously some of them were made up. If you think I’m THAT insane…

So other than school, lots of other things have been happening, such as—- OF COURSE I’M NOT THAT INSANE!

But yeah, other than school, I’ve been well, spending time with friends, lots of time with my girlfriend (insert perverts’ remarks here) and spending time stressing out on school. But hey… at least I know what the taste of it is like… and it’s not as bad as it may semen.

Okay, stop reminding me of my bad puns.

IF YOU DON’T LIKE ‘EM, WHY DON’T YOU JUST LEAF!

Life has been too busy.

Blogs rarely come.

Laziness will still motivate me.

Scrotum.